Have a heart
One of the best things I ever did over the past year, besides starting tolmolbol.com of course, is to join a class of cardio-kickboxing. Despite not having conducted a survey of every single fitness trainer on the planet, I am willing to confidently place a bet on ZP, my instructor, ranking amongst the world’s best. Most mornings, I trudge out of my bed and reach my class at about 7:00 am; but once there, my despotic trainer makes all the kicking, punching, weight-training and the running (out of your breath) a lot of fun. Occasionally, he mixes the exercise with a dose of advice on nutrition and diet. Therefore, forgive me, dear reader, for suspecting we were in for another of those “Eat Healthy” talks when he stopped the class 20 minutes into today’s work-out session.
When ZP started off with a story of how he had two massive heart attacks some time ago, I could hear a lot of eye-balls pop out of their sockets because one does not normally associate fitness gurus in awesome physical shape with a health problem of this magnitude. Who woulda thunk? Nevertheless, having caught our attention with his near-escape-from-death narration, our instructor proceeded to draw the shape of the heart on a black-board and explained the functioning of this amazing human organ. It would not be a far stretch of imagination to say that he knew a helluva lot more about the heart than those armed with a medical degree amongst us initiates.
Anyway, he proceeded to explain how cholesterol, lipids and other fats constitute the plaque lining the arteries, thereby constricting the flow of blood and causing a heart attack. Apparently, an increased area of coverage of the plaque is more damaging to your heart than having a more concentrated occurrence of this deposit in a similar spot. Because if any of this plaque breaks away and blocks your aortic arch (I think that’s what he said), then you can book your one way ticket out of this wonderful world and say goodbye to staring at Paris Hilton and reading about her escapades on your idiot-box-monitor. Hmm.. on second thoughts, that might not be too bad after all. Hell ought to definitely have less vapid and more beautiful morons.
Now, how would you know if you’ve stuffed your tubes with mouth-watering cakes and pastries? Well, interestingly, you don’t have too many options. But, ZP, went on to dazzle us with his knowledge by explaining how an EBCT (Electron Beam Computer Tomography) scan works. While he wasn’t sure if such a thing exists in Hyderabad, as yet, the EBCT device is supposed to be smart enough to know if you’ve been a naughty kid like little Johnny, eating sweets and telling lies to your near-and-dear-ones about it. The bottom-line was again “Eat Healthy”. Who woulda thunk it again? Exercise alone will not reduce your chances of having a heart attack. What is more important is a strict diet with no processed sugars and fried foods!
I am aware that this blog, filled with an amazing number of less than mediocre posts, could have caused at least a heart attack or two (assuming, magnanimously for a second that this blog attracts at least one more reader than me). So, I am keen to make amends with this post. Since we don’t have a 911 service in this country that can get you to a hospital in record time, be sure to pay heed to some if not most of this advice. And yes, also try to have a big heart!
